I went to a fitness training a few weeks ago that lasted an entire weekend. It was for a class format I was interested in possibly teaching. Having gone through several fitness trainings before, I really didn't think this would be much different in terms of the schedule and activities. I knew there would a manual that we would go through, I knew there would be time for lunch, I knew there would be some large and small group activities. I was not counting on however an exercise at the end of the weekend that involved sitting in the center of a circle and listening to everyone take turns telling me wonderful things about myself. It was probably one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life. The assignment was to come up with 3 positive and descriptive things about every person at the training. There were about 13 people there and I had known them for only 8 hours. On top of that, how could they possibly know anything about me other than what they saw on the outside? For someone who suffers from anxiety, this touchy feely exercise was feeling anything but touchy feely.
It's no surprise that the negative stuff is easier to believe but it's so hard to take a complement. I could sit there all day and listen to constructive criticism, take notes, stew over it, learn from it, and only try to do whatever task better next time. We are taught from an early age that when we do something wrong, points are taken away, we drop a letter grade, we take a step back from whatever goal we were trying to reach. But, when we get that test back that says 100% with a smiley face and a "GOOD JOB" in red ink, in those moments we are so proud. We need the pat on the back; from someone else.
If we encounter someone who is confident in themselves and aware of a strength that they possess, we think they are conceited or full of themselves, or high and mighty, or all-that and a bag of chips.
We long for people to tell us how great we are, but if we believe it ourselves that's a problem? We don't like it when people point out our faults, but we want them to, so we can be better?
Well, what if, we take the good things people have said about us and actually BELIEVE it?
This world is made up of over 7 billion DIFFERENT individuals. We were designed to be different! We already stand out! There is no one else out there exactly like you. You were custom made and to think of yourself as anything less is simply wrong. That is not conceit, or egotistical or full of it. It's science.
I encounter women often who are reluctant to try group fitness classes because of the judgement they feel they will receive based on how they look or what they feel they can or can't do. I am fortunate enough to teach in an environment where not only does everyone look different, but there are so many different fitness levels. There is no competition! It really didn't take hard work to foster this environment nor do I feel I did it alone. I just know how good it feels to be on the receiving end of that smiley face person who goes out of her way to say "Good Job."
The complementary exercise from the fitness training was mind blowing. I heard things about myself that I certainly hoped were true and was shocked that we all could list so many positive and unique things about each other after such a short time. It taught me that we all have gifts that should not only be shared, but also celebrated!
You are the captain of your own cheerleading squad! Surround yourself with people who will always lift you to the top!
